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The Beauty and the Terror.

  • Aug 8, 2025
  • 2 min read

Since I was a teenager many friends and lovers used to give me quite precise feedback: I was intense, sometimes too intense and aggressive, at times too aggressive.

It was puzzling and unnerving and upsetting to receive it yet also very empowering as it was often a true and loving reflection. I have struggled with this and appreciated this in myself for decades. Recognizing my addiction to intensity, feeling proud of it, mesmerized by it, compulsive with it and so on.

I have also been asking myself about the source of it.


A couple of nights ago I had a very long meditation, many breakthroughs and revelations, many pieces falling in place.

The main one was recognizing that all my life I have been walking on a razor edge between Beauty and Terror. Since I was a child the Beauty was overwhelming, and being my heart very very sensitive, it often felt too much and that would trigger the Terror. For a very long time I thought that the Terror was about dying so until I was twenty-seven-year-old I kept death to my side continuously, as a reminder, a challenge, a friend, an accomplice and a confidant. Until in May of 1977 in Bali I nearly died three times. Then that part of the journey ended and, as I realized that the Terror had nothing to do with the physical death, I started chasing with total dedication the spiritual one.

However, I still had my attention in the wrong place as I imagined that the terror had to do with the dissolution of the personality and the ego identity. I was way off!


In the last couple of decades, I have been learning to consciously get out of the way.

Through my work, in relationships, in meditation, in simple day-to-day life chores and actions I disappears, and Terror is just the overwhelming presence of Beauty...and as Rumi puts it:” I am a slave of that intensity”.

 
 
 

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7 Comments


Bradley Sheppard
Bradley Sheppard
5 days ago

The article offered an interesting reflection that encouraged me to think more deeply about its message. I remember reading a similar piece during college that stayed in my mind long after I finished it. Around that time I searched for My Lab class help while trying to balance different subjects. It makes me think thoughtful writing often leaves the strongest impression.

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Ricky Rivera
Ricky Rivera
Jun 17

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Jane Smith
Jane Smith
May 22

Reading this article about The Beauty and the Terror really shows how something can feel inspiring and unsettling at the same time, especially when dealing with complex ideas. I remember struggling with a coding task where everything looked simple at first but quickly became confusing. I used AI programming homework help during practice, and it helped me understand the logic step by step. It reminds me that learning often comes with both excitement and difficulty together, and both are part of growth.

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Nancy Hopper
Mar 13

Di UNICCM School, pembelajaran Bahasa Inggris Kelas 1 membantu siswa mengenal bahasa internasional secara bertahap. Melalui latihan membaca kata, menyebutkan benda di sekitar, dan memahami ungkapan sederhana, anak dapat mulai memahami dasar-dasar bahasa Inggris.

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Yanto Kopling
Mar 02

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